The Leslie Show

Foamy Monkeys

A dream I had this morning, as relayed to my husband via Skype

Leslie Irish Evans
9:16 AM
Oh!

9:16 AM
I had a very bizarre dream about you last night.

Chris Evans
9:16 AM
yeah?

Leslie Irish Evans
9:16 AM
Yeah. We were in South Africa....

9:16 AM
and it was night time

9:17 AM
and we were driving around in an SUV....

9:17 AM
with other tourists in the back seat.

9:17 AM
You were driving...I was riding shotgun....

9:17 AM
and we were in a town...

9:17 AM
with lots of buildings and the right...and the beach on the left...

9:17 AM
and we were supposed to be turning back....

9:18 AM
but you kept wanting to go a little farther...a little farther....

9:18 AM
and it kept getting darker and darker....

9:18 AM
and we were looking at the water...and noticing the big foamy head on it...and saying "Ah, yes. Remember this from last time we were here? The water gets very foamy. It's just what it does."

9:19 AM
And then we saw monkeys playing in the foam...and we were showing the people in the back seat..."Look! Look at that ! See? This is just like we saw last time...the monkeys playing in the foam"

Chris Evans
9:19 AM
And then it was BEER!

Leslie Irish Evans
9:19 AM
and I said "OK, Chris, it keeps getting darker...we need to turn around and go back"

9:19 AM
and you said "not yet"

9:19 AM
and then a foamy monkey jumped in through the sun roof and starting MESSING with me!!!!

9:20 AM
And I was like UGH! FUCKING FOAMY MONKEY!

Chris Evans
9:20 AM
LOL

Leslie Irish Evans
9:20 AM
And then Kate came clomping into our room asking me if I had that white t-shirt she told me she needed three days ago....

9:20 AM
and she woke me up

9:20 AM
and I said "Thank you."

Chris Evans
9:20 AM
lol

9:20 AM
Fucking foamy monkey!

Leslie Irish Evans
9:21 AM
Exactly

Chris Evans
9:21 AM
Foamy Monkey - a great band name

Leslie Irish Evans
9:21 AM
They're obnoxious enough when they're NOT foamy

9:21 AM
And I kept hissing at him to make him go away, and forgetting that just makes things WORSE

Chris Evans
9:21 AM
yeah but foamed - they're like an evil latte with thumbs!

Whoa! Dream Big! *

Talk about lofty goals! This site aims for nothing short of "...document[ing] all species of life on earth":

http://www.eol.org/index

Me?  My goals right now are down around  "wash some underwear so at least something I'm wearing is clean".

(* The title is one of my favorite quotes from the movie Juno, which I just saw last week.  Awesome movie.)

What I Learned Today: Honey Badgers are Terrifying

Crikey!  They're like Rasputin!  You can't kill 'em!

Warning:  This video is a little bit gory (as you can probably tell from the screen capture).  It's kind of like the anti-cuteoverload.com

Need Your Help!

I'm doing it again...and this time, I'm the team captain!  If you're a regular reader, you'll know that I did my first Breast Cancer 3-Day walk last year, and that I loved it.  Well, this year I'm doing it again.  I am the captain of the Tufted Titmice, the cutest birds at the 3-Day, and I need your support.  I have resolved to beat last year's $3,140 worth of donations.  My goal is to raise $3200.  Please donate if you are able.  Every bit helps, and it's a wonderful cause. 

Here's the link to my page:  http://08.the3day.org/goto/calmbyleslie

Thank you!

Rest in Peace, Roy Scheider

The actor Roy Scheider died yesterday at the age of 75.  He had cancer.  The older I get the less old 75 seems. 

I always found him to be a fascinating actor, one who presented tremendous confidence and self-assuredness on screen (even if his character was freaking out). He was fantastic, of course, in Jaws.  Really the glue that held scenery-chewers Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfuss in place.  But my favorite Roy Scheider movie is All That Jazz, for a couple of reasons:

1. Bob Fosse's choreography is brilliant. 
2. It takes a hell of a lot of courage to make a (semi-autobiographical) movie about your own mortality, and to do it with a tremendous amount of black humor and irony. 
3. We had the soundtrack (on an 8-track cassette!) and I know virtually every note of it.
4. It's kind of a freaky movie, and it's so 1970's.  I don't usually go for freaky movies, but I totally get this one. 
5. Roy Scheider completely embodies his character.  I absolutely believed he was Joe Gideon.
6. "It's showtime, folks" is a line I still use whenever I'm about to go do an event that involves interacting with the public. 

So here's a clip of the movie's finale.  The set up is this:  Joe Gideon is a Broadway choreographer who pours everything he has into his work, to the detriment of his family, friends, and personal life.  As the current show he's working on takes a greater and greater toll on his health, his loved ones try to convince him (through song and dance) that he needs to come back to them and find better work/life balance.  Gideon sees everything in terms of work, even choreographing his own death scene.  Jessica Lange plays the Angel of Death, who flirts with him throughout the film.

And so, Roy Scheider, even though Fosse made this scene in reference to himself, you were the one singing and sliding and sweating through it, so it could be yours too.  If you want it.  Perhaps the reason I like this scene so much is that I want it.  I'm not asking for much, right?  Just a razzle-dazzle song and dance number to see me out.   

Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!

A few months ago, on a coupon and whim, I joined the Zingermans Bacon of the Month Club.  Once a month this very large, insulated, express-shipped box arrives on our porch, and once you peel through the massive layers of protective packaging, there sits a humble little pound of gourmet, artisanal bacon. You know what's wrong with that? NOTHING!  (And everything, all at the same time.)

I have to thank Tony Chor for this find:

Jim Gaffigan and Bacon | Funny Jokes at JibJab

What I Learned Today: You Can Buy Bobcat Pee Online

Looking for some bobcat pee?  How 'bout coyote pee?  Fox pee?  I'm fresh out, but I know where you can get some:

 Predatorpee.com!

Found out about this through a Seattle P-I  (huh, huh...pee...eye) op-ed piece on a local coyote that's bothering people around Seattle's Discovery Park.  Cathy Sorbo writes about the critter, and about how nuisance animals can be convinced to move along when they smell the urine of the animal that preys on them. 

Now that's some powerful aromatherapy!

I wonder if that works with humans?  Let's say you've got an ex-spouse who won't stop coming around. If you sprinkle a little of your mom's pee around the house, would that odeur du belle-mère send him fleeing?

Number One on the ThreatDown: BEARS!

Everyone who has known me since I was young knows that I have a fascination/connection with bears.  Read this today and couldn't resist posting it (with apologies to Stephen Colbert):

*IN MY NEXT LIFE I WANT TO BE A BEAR*

"If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months.

I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.

I could deal with that, too.

If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs.

I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.

I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.
He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
He KNOWS not to get between you and the food.

Yup..... Gonna be a bear."

Yummy Snack!

I have recently been trying to improve my diet, and have been seeing a nutritionist who is helping me to eat healthier.  Among other things she has suggested I forgo gluten and dairy.  What's that leave?  Steak and booze!  (Just kidding, Angie.)

So, having to be more discerning about my snacks, I have stumbled upon a good one:  Sahale Snacks Soledad Almonds.

These guys are a local company, and they make different nut and fruit blends that are really unusual and tasty.  I've also tried the Ksar blend (good, but the harissa is a little funky to this midwestern girl's palate) and the Dauphine blend  (not bad, but sometimes a honkin' big chunk of walnut is not for me), but the Soledad Almonds are the ones that make me crazy.  Sweet, crunchy, and a litle bit spicy.  Mmm-mmm!